I’ve been waiting for this day – January first, the day that officially sets the Day Zero Project in motion – with both enthusiasm and dread. Enthusiasm, because I love the idea behind the whole project and the way it challenges you to get going, start living. South America? I’ve seen nearly all of it because that was one of my goals. Dean’s list? I made it on there because I challenged myself to. Nobody gave me any stickers, or stars, or patted me on the back. Nobody except me.
And if there’s anything I’ve learned the last time around it’s that when you are able to praise yourself for an accomplishment, you really don’t need anyone else’s. There’s that little spark of pride that settles in the pit of your stomach and spreads like wildfire each time you can drag your pen across that paper and cross out a goal. Pride from the inside out, which – in my opinion – is the best kind. Because you’ve been there, done that, and if you did that, then there’s not much else you can’t do.
But then there’s that dread. That nagging little voice in the back of my head that goes Date night? Twice a week? You don’t even have a baby sitter and you’ve been looking for one for over two months now. Who are you kidding, woman? and then laughs at me (funnily enough, that nagging voice is always my OWN voice. I wonder what that says about me).
Dread, because holy crap, this is going to be a lot of work. This is going to cost a lot of money. This is going to take a lot of time. This project will be the end of me and OMG WHY DID I COMMIT TO THIS?!
… Which leads me to believe that maybe that dread is not dread at all but just plain panic. Which is good. Panic can be dealt with. All you need to do is plant your ass in a chair and start planning.
Which I did. And the list of things I absolutely have to get started on this month is… doable. With a little effort and a healthy dose of luck, I will…
… Go on a date with Sam somewhere between today and the 14th, and again between the 15th and the 28th.
… Take the kids swimming between those same dates.
… Go out with friends instead of Sam once this month, and have him do the same.
… Make a pizza from scratch with my family.
… Get a massage.